HAMILTON TOWNSHIP, Ohio — It's a night for grandmothers.
Amanda Smith’s husband is out of town, and her kids have the day off school. She’s tired, but she’s still got to make dinner. Her daughter helps pour a box of macaroni and cheese into a pot.
She laughs, realizing they did it wrong.
“Sometimes I want to pick up the phone and call her, but then you realize the reality,” Smith said.
In the other room, her 6-year-old daughter Remi plays with Barbies and eats an apple.
“Mamaw is in heaven right now,” she said. “And I miss her.”
Teresa Carpenter died by suicide almost two years ago. Smith and her kids lived with Carpenter while their current home was built. She said the kids loved cuddling on the couch with her mom.
“She loved her grandkids,” Smith said, holding up a photo cube in her living room. “They were her pride and joy.”
But Carpenter was sick. And after her death, Smith tried a grief support group through church. It didn’t work, because no one else grieved the same type of loss.
Then, she found a program through the Butler County Mental Health and Addiction Recovery Services Board — a program that could be in jeopardy if an upcoming tax levy doesn’t pass. It’s one of the reasons officials placed Issue 12 on the ballot, according to Scott Rasmus, executive director of the mental health board.
“The number of suicides has increased by 50%,” Rasmus said. “There really wasn’t anywhere in the county — when families lose a loved one to suicide — for them to go where they could feel comfortable.”
If the tax levy passes, it would generate $6.6 million, and it would cost taxpayers about $18 per $100,000 in value a year, according to the county auditor.
“Not everyone wants to talk about it,” said Jennifer MacLean, volunteer team coordinator for the Loss/Doss program. “You need to be around people who have experienced the same type of thing — because those that have not, they don’t understand.”
MacLean lost her husband decades ago. A sister-in-law died by suicide. She says her family doesn’t talk about it much.
But that’s what her team does. They respond to scenes when there’s a suspected suicide. And they follow up with family members to provide resources.
Back at Smith’s home, her children hit each other with Halloween skeletons and ask what’s for dinner. They mix together brown-looking yogurt.
“I am doing much better than I ever anticipated,” Smith said. “I joined Loss/Doss thinking I was going to help others, when in turn it actually really helped myself.”
In her living room, she lights a candle for her mom and kisses her daughter. She says she's at peace with her loss.
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Want to learn more?
The Loss/Doss team is piloting its program in Fairfield Township and needs more volunteers to expand throughout the county. They also conduct monthly support group meetings.
If interested, contact Jennifer MacLean at jmaclean@envisionpartnerships.com or 513-868-2100 ext. 227
